I still am not able to fully grasp that I am a father. On Wednesday, little Josh will be 6 months old. He is growing like a weed. His dirty diapers are getting much much worse day by day. He now eats rice and vegetables. And he makes me so happy.
I cannot believe I am a father.
I don't deserve this little guy. I don't deserve to have a beautiful smiling giggling kid who always looks for me, finds me in the room, stares at me and watches me very intensely, and can discern my voice from many. God has been too good to me in giving me little Josh. I love him so much. The other day I kept telling him that I don't want him to grow anymore because soon he will be so big he won't want or let me kiss him anymore. I love to kiss him...and tickle him, and wrestle with him, and throw him in the air just to see him light up. And I love to talk to him. The two of us go for walks. And when we do... we talk. I tell him all sorts of things. I tell him how much I love his mom and how thankful we are for her. I tell him how I cannot wait to teach him to play baseball and basketball and to teach him how to mow the yard. I tell him often about Jesus...how Jesus changed my life and can change his too. I love being with him. When I come home from work, it gives me the best feeling in the world. Its like he knows when I am arriving. I cannot wait until he can crawl or walk to greet me at the door.
I can't believe I am a dad.
I don't deserve this invaluable gift, but I accept it. I gladly, excitedly, and humbly accept it.
Oh dear God, please make me a good Dad to this boy! Thank you for him.